So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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