I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Randomize
