They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
