You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
