I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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