Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
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Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
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Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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