The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize