The maid of honor just puked.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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