i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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