Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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