hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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