How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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