I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize