I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
