wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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