Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
