i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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