scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
