didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
