i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
