tell your sister to shave her snatch
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
