no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
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