I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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