DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
