We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
