It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize