i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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