I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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