Too much gin, very little bucket
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
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To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
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Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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