is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize
