Someone shit on the floor
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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