she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
