Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I am naked and annoyed.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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