you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
COCAINE IS GR8
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
