I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
