the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
