We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
3pm strippers are depressing
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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