Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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