After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
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