she is the kim kardashian of front butts
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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