Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
