I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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