i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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