I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
