I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
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You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
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did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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