the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
