the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
he just fucked me for my cheese.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
