yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
