I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
