you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
