She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
