brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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