Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
