She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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