You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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