How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
