I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
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good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
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And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
My feet surprised me
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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